route in London has not change ever since we left the infamous city not long time ago.
the brisk walk at night along Marble Arch towards Lancaster Gate was so peaceful.
passing by were the Arabians that had conquered the Edgware Road riding the S-class Mercedes, the Austin Martin and not forgetting the sport cars made me feel like wanting to extend my stay here.
too bad, big bro's going back to Malaysia next week to prepare for the course in Spain.
lucky Petronas to have someone like him. seriously.
even Matrade London knows him. pelik!

hey peeps, pics will be uploaded as soon as i reach Moscow coz i did not bother at all to bring my laptop (luckily!) or i will be spending hours at midnight browsing through the hundreds of pics and upload them in flickr.

erm..i gotta get ready for my next agenda!
see ya guys around!

*hugggsss*

mama asked for a snow fall ever since she planned her Moscow trip.
Alhamdulillah, her wish was granted! yeay!
i'm not going to write about trip now cause i wanna go manja with my mama and abah.
haha.. abg nizar, siler tunggu turn k?
mama might stay longer in London taw!

i am really gonna enjoy having them around while they are here and in London.
of course, lotsa secrets were revealed between mama and i.
the mother-daughter conversation and the pillow talk session went really great!
gee, i'm really gonna miss her when i bid her goodbye at the airport later.

one just can't see other people being more happy than oneself eyh?
just can't see why.
typical people kan?
*ngaaa..*
sweetness and bitterness of life are experienced more, so act mature enough like one.
thank you.

a few more days here.
my gateway is around the corner!


p.s: thanx to my roomies (winda, syikin, sha), cabriz, peter, kak ina, mok, amir sheep, kak fir and others. i really appreciate your concern! *hugggsss*

it's saturday already.
i have eight hours more to go before i get my butt off this chair.
shesshh, i guess there are some stuffs i'm suppose to do before heading off to domodevo airport.
yup, i'm heading there, to fetch abah and mama!
no kidding!
*wink wink*

so, here's my plan for this blog.
my pictures are going to be my storyteller for the next 18days.
it might be at my flickr account, or maybe just here.
or maybe not.
plus, i'm not sure if i'm getting my hands on this keyboard typing since bro and i had this rough-and-ready plan on bringing abah and mama around moscow like tomorrow will end.
i guess the only way is the old-school way; the diary!

we have asked the permission from the weatherman to give us a shelter from the cold chilly wind but mama had been missing her snow flakes after our last eurotrip many years ago.
oh, i'm wishing for the sun to shine on my days left here!

erm, anip, how was it?
guess that winter won't be your major problem anymore!
=)

rooms of opportunity.
doors of them that are left ajar.
people who has flourished leaves trail for us.
maybe some of you did try to get past it, but the door keep slamming on your face.
nah, it's okay to take chances.
that's way better off than those who keep silence, pretending that their brain is some kind of a machine intelligence!
hey, i'm a dork too, you know!
(no, some of you don't)

sometimes i felt guilty for i may not know what i want even at the age of reaching the Sweet 21.
*hint hint*
(lama lagi, k)
i often fly-by-night.
misplace, misunderstood, miscommunication.
i might not even realize the 'paku payung' got stuck at my foot til a friend saw blood dripping and those stains just scares her off.
yes, i'm kidding.

got my point?
i don't think so.

some people have their own way
well, i did it my way..

forgive me for the midnight craziness.
i'm just too exited to sleep!
yeay!

i got to get some rest.
the days ahead will put my energy off as soon as i get myself on bed these coming nights.
bear with me readers.
i'll try to keep myself update here.

access denied.
(family's first!)

p.s: Happy Holidays people!

i am still young and i have to respect.
i am not even half-grown and i should not raise my voice.
i am not that loud but i am rebellious.

when i have to say it, i felt like my tongue is tied.
when i want to do it, i felt like my act is being watched.
when i want to express what i thought, i felt like it's no use at all.

i thought i could stand it, but i fall.
i pray for my justice just because people often got me pissed.
i sang my own song that i never wrote but i sung them in my heartthrob.

if only they knew which is black and which is white.
if only they knew how to dot the i's and cross the t's.
if only i knew how to solve the puzzle of my own mystery.

of randomness.


p.s: BIG surprises comes in lil' cute packages!

gee, i guess i have been too much photo-blogging lately.
well, maybe i thought that pictures tells more than i write.

luck has been on my side the past few days.
is this a sign to some raw deal coming in my way, no?
i'll just go with the flow.
whatever happens, let it be.
there's always a silver lining behind every cloud, right?

okay. back to whatever point i'm trying to state here.
stroke of jackpots arrived when i was busy updating the cask book that i had abandoned the past few weeks.
i knew those numbers and calculations are no more in balance.
plus, these equations are reflecting the 'character' of my 'case'.
oh, i'm not like you sis.

please read between the lines.
i know that i have to put a sum of them in my safe box.
but sometimes, certain things could not be resist.
they run wild like the water flood flow, leaving the victims in the middle of the rush, that the media believes that there are no survivors in this chaos.
of course, ways to prevent the nature accident had been taken into actions but, if He wants it to happen, then it will.

i have warned you earlier to read between the lines.
thank you.

i do not want to see the weighing scale just because.
i have been on bed, laying down too long thinking of what they have said and wrote.
to whom and why are not much of the matter here.
they don't have to lay it on too much.
those thick skin of these people has worsen and they seem to want things coming into their way easily without any sacrifices.
i am trained to work hard.
i am forced to learn.
i am used to do-it-yourself.
Benjamin Franklin said, 'Well done is better than well said'.
But nothing has been proved even before my eyes.

sighed.
learning from our own mistakes is the best teacher to face and conquer life.
but, i want to play safe.
yes, risk is somewhat worth too much than a fortune when you are already safe and succeeded in accomplishing the mission.
but they give too much trouble of nothing in expectation when you fail and give up right away.
'I wish i'd never done that. there's nothing i could do to fix that now.'
is that all?

geez. life is how and with what we paint them, eyh?

by the way, God is fair in His game.
you fall down the ladder and so, you're back to box 1.
that's not good enough for you to learn to be more careful next time, huh?

oh, two more days and they will be on their way.
not sure if i could blog for the next 19 days.
wow, i have never leave my blog that long!
i'll be spending my precious time with the people that creates me.
it's going to be a thrill one!
arranged the best plan and prepared for the worst.
just see what i can do to update more later.

thank you readers.
some of you have already understood the inner me, virtually.

hey, think before you know that you're already done talking.


p.s: i walk the city and i observed.

will update with u guys later!

i was busy TED-ing and found this.
it's worth watching and listening.
really.
discover more ( here ).

i love you more than i could and i would
i miss you more than i can and i want
you warmed me up when i'm cold and you hold
you shouldered me when i cried and bring me up my pride
these are some of many reasons why i could bear and i care
that you are a part of me that i could see and will always be
through different time zones and the seven seas we fear and hold some tears
hours and days had passed and never a single dust
through thick and thin, days and nights, we dream of one another and we ponder
that love has brought us together, and by God's willing, we pray hard that it will be forever.

special dedication to my one and only love that may last till my very last breath, John.

while watching ( August Rush ), these words arranged themselves in my head and my fingers quickly snatched a pen and jot it down.
i guess i'm missing him too much.
i am.


p.s: kita merancang, Tuhan menentukan.

First and foremost, Salam Maal Hijrah i wish to my parents and siblings back home in Malaysia, not forgetting A. Dinie here, relatives, friends all over the world and also my readers.

the 'school' reopens after about 8 days of short break before the official winter holiday starts.
pathphys class will take place at 12.30pm soon and i haven't even read about neoplasm.
*sheesshh*

so here are my resolution progress;
based on my ( 101s in 1001s )

021: Consistent in taking multi-vitamins
gee, is not that i'm lazy to take those pills, just that other junk foods seems more tastier! haha..

026: Spend more time with family and sisters
it's gonna happen soon!
so the tak sabar okayh!
except that my sisters are in Johor schooling.
sorry sis!

027: Get to know more relatives that i'v never known they exist
oh boy, i didn't know they are actually those who lives near my house..!

030: Call family as often as twice/thrice a week
provided that i am no more their cash-burden, so paham-paham la..
*wink wink*

031: Messaging the love ones everyday
true that each and everyone of us has our own egoistic character.
but hey, that does not give benefits at all to me.
so, the more i message, the more i love!

034: Keep in touch with friends I rarely see, even if just by email or text
lately, i have IMed those precious people of mine and we chatted for hours that we didn't realized we had missed out sooo much about ourselves.
keep me updated people!

035: Being supportive to those who needs it
whoever you are, whatever you need that i can provide, be it foods, be it listening to problems or advices, buzz me.
i'll try my best to serve your needs.
in a way, jangan pijak kepala sudeyhh... =)

036: Write a list task needed to be done weekly
had been marking dates on calendar on what i'm suppose to do on that day.
feeling more systematic!
seriously, you guys should try!
(to those that do not know what to do next after completing some task)

037: Learn to use shutter and aperture well to snap great photos
yeay! i am on the way of mastering my own Nikon L3 camera although is not the DSLR ones.
of course i'd wish to have those pro-cameras but if i don't master my own digi-cam, what's the use of not knowing other functions before having it?

042: Read Qoran at least once a day
am practising to read it consistently.
please guide me.
thank you. =)
(amie, i miss our usrah group..)

043: Fold clothes RIGHT after they dry
an achievement for me, i suppose!
haha..
mama tak payah bawa Aunt Siah.. hehe..=p!

046: Reflect on my life daily before sleep aka muhasabah diri
everyday is a new day.
a new day to start of with something i enjoyed most and end my day with it too.
don't ask what. my roomy should know. *ehem ehem*
so, before i doze off in the stroke of midnight, i reflect what i had done and said that very day.
and hope that every tomorrow brings a new hope for me.

053: Read novels during holidays
please spare me a novel!!
i am sooo reading the same novel all over again.
haih...
anyone??

058: Visit the place I was born and experience the life there
soon eyh?
wanna go to Essex sooo much and meet Dr. Spooner.
is she still alive?
does she recognized me after my last visit that was like 9 years ago?
we'll see.

064: Skills in ice-skating
too bad the day i went outing at Europian Mall, the very morning during Subuh prayer, i cramped my hips.
yes, my body is out of calcium.
please drink more milk EVERYDAY!
tqq!

065: Less caffeine drinking
by drinking more tea?
what's the difference?
at night, i make myself a nice hot choc.
aahh...
that DOES mean that i'm reducing my caffein eyh?
erm, milk please, layla..

070: Stop picking blemishes on my face
well, i did, but when it's PMS period, uurgghh..i'm always tying up my hand to the back to avoid touching it!
*blergh*

076: Do monthly budget, keep track on debits and credits
had been practicing this manually as in jotting down whatever i bought into the cash book since boarding school.
wanted to use Microsoft Excel la kan, but i'm not that computer geek to do all those sums in Excel.
abah taught me before, but dem, i just couldn't get it!
huhu..

084: Learn basic make-ups
figure out how i did it!
haha..

085: Organize my wardrobe
it's more organize now after the room renovation last friday.
waiting for the plumber and the electrician plak skrang ni.. =p

086: Decorate the room and create a feel in it
i'm halfway done and i'm still thinking of creating 'something' but i just couldn't figure out what and how.
tunggu abah & mama komen la..
*hik hik*

088: Make new friends around the globe
virtually met a doc in Miri, a new friend in Nizhny, a you-tuber obsess in US..
still searching for more for better networking!

089: Use creative phrases in journal
yeah, had been reading more and more proverbs, idioms and inspiring phrases and even create my own to motivate myself.
thanx to those of you who feels my entries had been encouraging.
i truly appreciate it.

090: Learn more proverbs
like i said!

099: Perform more random act of kindness, smile to everyone
some people may find it disturbing, but who cares, i'm sincere and my niat is there.
'Senyum itu sedekah'.

101: Able to do anything and everything
erm...like what eyh?
can't recall that 'something'.


such progress i made eyh?
so proud of myself!
a BIG round of applause for me!
yeay!
haha..
(silerla undi 'perasan lebeyh' lagi..i know, i know..)
i don't change myself for the sake of others.
i change myself for me and my own good.


p.s: this is somewhat interesting; ( Battle of the Books ). think.

( Reuters ) had been my daily dose of international news service after the local Malaysian popular online news, ( Utusan Malaysia ).
today, i came across this poll;

*what say you?*

to those who doesn't understand, placebo is a term used by physicians and medical staffs around the world giving the meaning of - a substance having no pharmacological effect but given merely to satisfy a patient who supposes it to be a medicine according to ( Dictionary.com ).

i do not want to state my pov in medical statement as some of my readers might not understand as not each and everyone of you readers know most of the medical terms.

every single action taken has its pros and cons.
same goes to this matter.
to me, a placebo is more to some medication given to the patient that although it does not give any effects as other drugs, but it sets the mind of the patient that he/she will get better in a way of self-healing treatment.
our body posses our own physiological process where the mechanical, biochemical and physical functions of the living organism helps to heal the wound through these significant contribution;

• change in weather
• change of diet/nutritions
• change in eating habits
• emotional stress
• confidence aroused in/during treatment

some doctors think that placebos could give some sort of therapeutic potential towards their patient.
patients might have the choice to choose between to have or not to receive the placebo medication AFTER the doctor explains the side effects either in short term or long term period according to the researchers of University of Chicago.
but if i were to face this case, patient must not know that the drugs are an ineffective placebo.
this is how the placebo will work when the expectancy effect by conscious or unconscious manipulation by the patient itself in reporting to improve.
patient should be motivated and be given encouragement so that the brain is functioned to see changes of the biological effect same as the real drugs.
no doubt that they are just drugs in trial or in short, 'blind' antidote.

of course, there are still drugs and placebos on probation that needs to be examined and be tested.
placebo's side effects are inflammation, where swelling, redness, heat and pain can occur and also sickness behavior seems to arise although they are just 'sugar pills' without any active substance.

i shall not write more cause i am still halfway through mad-med-school!
to understand more, read ( this article ).
it might give benefits although you are not a medical student nor a medical staff.
knowledge is just as important to let you live longer.

what say you medical people?

p.s: i think i prefer Barack Obama. don't ask.

(X) snuck out of the house
(X) gotten lost in your city
( ) seen a shooting star
(X) had a serious surgery
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
(X) hugged a stranger
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) done drugs
( ) had alcohol
(X) laughed and had milk/coke come out
of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an
elevator
( ) swore at your parents
(X) been in love
(X) been close to love
(X) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone(injured tendon+p~)
(X) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(X) skipped school
( ) flashed someone
(X) saw a therapist(COUNSELOR)
(X) played spin the bottle
( ) gotten stitches
(X) drank a whole gallon of milk in one
hour-- or water
(X) bitten someone
( ) been to Disneyland
(X) gotten the chicken pox
(X) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same
sex
( ) had feelings for someone who didn't
have them back
( ) stolen something from your job
(X) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
(X) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(X) been to Europe
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
(X) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
( ) driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(X) met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(X) gone to college
(X) graduated college
( ) done hard drugs
( ) tried killing yourself
( ) fired a gun-Paint ball
(X) purposely hurt yourself
(X) taken painkillers
(X) miss someone right now

p.s: can't wait to dance in the rain.. =)