i tried to understand the other party's point
and i didn't think i failed mine.
shaping those favourable deal leads me towards diagnosing that morbid sickness hidden inside.
i got that through and i want it done. and that's that.

i was fatigue once.
definitely, nothing pulled me off.
being what you call a lady in the making,
your points are taken and am manipulating them
to figure which knot you tried to untangle.
i take that as a challenge.
and you stay right where you belong.


i am pretty sure of the consequences
but the road ahead isn't always slippery in the rain.
potential versus ability, you got what i mean.

cause everything depends.


p.s: if ambitious and sexy beats the annoying attitude, you win.

lesson for all;

learn to let go what is not yours.
give and take is not practically use in this matter.
it's no string attached now and never.
please, let go, let go forever.

***


discovered that Imedeen sold in Russia cost hundreds ringgit more cheaper than in Malaysia.
same goes to the multivitamin Centrum that mama wanted.
looks like i have to cargo boxes of them back to Malaysia soon, as i promised to mama.
heh.

also discovered that knowing people through email that i've met once seems more enjoyable and i felt so much better that way because i won't feel guilty with my time and also that person's.
plus, more subjects could be written and shared widely.
yeah, call me kuno and whatnot, i am starting to like this.
thank you.

just discovered yesterday that only females has this ( rombus michaelis ) shape at their back that helps them during labour in obstetric cycle.
Olga Petrovna is super duper nice.
she even brought us to watch abortion procedure live!
i was exactly less than a meter away from the patient that was undergoing that abortion.
what had form left was the foetus's intestine, that we could distinguish of.
other parts were already destroyed by the medical apparatus and pines of blood gushed out from her vag***.
one experience that i could never get in Malaysia. yeap.

soon to discover whatever that is going to happen today.
i hope there'll be at least a lady in the labour room today.
we'll update later.

oh, thanx to ( Jasmine ) for introducing to ( Wani Ardy ) about me!
check out her songs people!

pekena gambar-gambar boyfie.

nih masih style lagi.

yeah, die nampak seperti seorang wizard yang serabut.
hehe..

kami terpilih dalam peraduan mencari bintang di rusia.
berakhirnya penantian.
:p

aha..si dia dah abes belajar..
biler lagi nak sambung?

kegemaran!

yang nih tak tahan tengok weyhh!
ade ke muker mak same dengan muker anak??
hahaha...

tapi takkan jumpa.
*haih*


kau, jauh disana?

starting time: 2.09pm
name: layla
sisters: 2
brothers: 2
shoe size: 7
height: 155 cm
where do you live: kota damansara

have you ever been on a plane?
yeah, till i'm so bored of it. haha..

swam in the ocean?
obviously! i so love the water!

fallen asleep in school?
uncountable i should say. everyone does. even the smartest ass.

broken someone's heart?
before? yes. right now? too.

fell off your chair?
purposely.

sat by the phone and waited all night for someone to call?
so far, yes.
but it was worth waiting. XD

saved emails?
emails from parents, boyfie, anything that caught my interest.

what is your room like?
back in KD, i share a king size bed with my two other howler sisters that are always fun to be with. a sofa and a table where 2 laptops and a few books plus a jug of water is placed. four wardrobes for clothes and attires, another cupboard for all kinds of bags and handbags only. a dressing table arranged with perfumes and combs and pins. two bed-side table squashed with personal stuffs. haha..

here in moscow, sharing a room with dearie fiza with a double deck bed which i'm sleeping at the bottom and two study table of the same size. a wardrobe for me and a fixed one for fiza. a cupboard for foods and a trolley table for putting the kitchen utensils and a microwave. two shelf for books. mirror walls around and at the cupboard. em. what else?

what's right beside you?
now? the trolley table with a fan on top.

what was the last thing you ate?
had cereal with milk for sahur.

ever had chicken pox?
yeah, together with my other 2 siblings. haha..

like picnics?
it depends where the picnic will be held. like it, but not a hot spot for me.

who was/were the last person you dance with?
the boyfie at his house. haha..

last made you smile?
mama's message and email regarding the lil sis.

you last yelled at...
i hardly yell at people cause i myself don't like to be yelled at. but this yelling took place years ago when i've told someone to stay off my way for some good reason.

today did you talk to someone you like?
not yet.

kissed anyone?
yes.

get sick?
seldom.

talk to an ex?
em, i don't talk to them. but still keep in touch through chatting.

missed someone?
the siblings especially and the boyfie. plus abah mama.

who do you really hate?
i don't hate people. i just don't favor them as my friends that holds the word of respect and true friendship.

do you like your handwriting?
i do not care about it. is not like it determines my future.

are your toenails painted?
never.

whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
at home, i prefer the white sofa at the curve area. heh.

what colour shirt are you wearing right now?
orange. the futsal jersey.

are you a friendly person?
i can say i am. they said so.

do you have any pets?
em..my family is not the animal-care type.

do you sleep with the tv on?
sometimes, when i can't get up to my room, which is less than a 5 steps walking.

what are you doing right now?
waiting my turn for Zohor.

can you handle the truth?
yes, so far i can. it's better to get scolding for telling the truth than hiding them and get punished later.

are you closer to your mother or father?
i shall say both and it depends on certain matters. mama where i can rely on just everything. from boyfie to money, and from handbags to clothes. she's the one i could count in for everything. abah when it comes to situation that i think i can't make my own decision, when it comes to business matter, social life problem, religious matter, and definitely the counselling problem.

do you eat healthy?
depends.

do you still pictures of you and your ex?
not anymore.

if you're having a bad day, who would you most likely go to?
first to mama, den the boyfie. they had been listening to me for years.

are you loud or quiet most of the time?
nope. i'm loud. almost most of the time. haha.

are you confident?
very much in something i like and interested in.

5 things i was doing 10 years ago:
10 years ago
i was 11
1. getting into a new class, skipping std 4.
2. learn to fast the whole month.
3. gold for 'lontar peluru' and bronze for 100m.
4. had a crushed on many boys.
5. screamed my lungs out when sis had her mens before me!

5 things i would do if i am a billionaire:
1. parents & siblings.
2. if by then i have children, then they'll be my priority.
3. invest like mama did.
4. bring abah mama around the world.
5. save?

5 of my bad habits:
1. i spray too much perfume.
2. either too early or too late.
3. loves to waste on shoes and shoes and shoes.
4. futsal became the hobby and mama is worried.
5. when i got hold on the camera.

5 places i am living in:
am living in? have lived in?
1. essex, england
2. damansara utama
3. bandar utama
4. kota damansara
5. moscow

5 people i tag:
1. fatin
2. mak ety
3. aleen
4. you
5. you

end time: 2.55pm (was in the mid of something while doing this.)

***

p.s: akan email. jangan risau ye. :p~

Mr Tambourine Man, help me.


it's THE choice.
it's up to our sense and judgment for those many that are making us.
when you know you are capable of such things, you just had too many to choose from.
but it all based on how worldly-wise you are.
physically tough is never enough.
mentally-wise, you're just losing the grip you had hold on before.
formulation has always been important to conquer those distractions which i hope i had behavely use.

things are too colourful that i branded them and pick the cream of the cream.
two words that differs; want and choose.
you pick.
so you know what you had to witness cause there ain't any bridle path for you to follow.

i still remember the days when you said this;
(it was something like this since i have already deleted everything about you)

' i dislike these because they do not show the true these that they have taken.
and i do not even do these.'

saying this phrase with arrogant and pissing me off.
yeah, and now, you're being praised for these and oh, i hate to say this
but truly, i was regretting on what, who and how all these had conquered me the past months.
just stop manipulating situations after situations.
i guess i've learnt where to stop my words and play them around.
if only there was a mixing tape, rewinding it wouldn't be much of a problem.

i knew i'm back in reality when there was a loud tap on my back.
i got angry and frustrated, but the others knew that simple way out which i could not even see before.
i've learnt my stupid mistakes.
the gift i gave is just a small complimentary which i'll never take back, but i hope you will use it well and be proud for what you have done in the past, what you are doing at the moment and what you will plan to do for the future.

thanks dear, i've seen that you've eaten your words.
and i hope that whatever had happened to me, you won't do it to others.
plus, i have already known the real you.


p.s: exposing self well.

why pretend when you know you're not going to be there?
i never waited nor did i ever wanted to do that.
things were useless like there's a spinning project for some high school assignment.
innumerable yellings and fighting, all i wanted was some space.
the intervals were good enough for me to prove that stealing was obviously wrong.
i never kept things that ain't mine and i was the best actress to keep it up.
i am tired trying to put up the solitary moment.
i really want to come back home.

reasons spread across, defending and protecting too much.
in my very eyes, even the elephant do not cross over the troop of ants.
how could i not judge and and how could i want them in me?

i am asking again, politely.
will you keep yourself away from me?

i guess Rihanna's Take A Bow explains best.


p.s: weekend well used.

p.p.s: i do not refer this to anyone. it just flashed through my mind. *cheers*

ehem, ape benda semua ni?

Beliau diminta mengulas beberapa laporan mendakwa azan di Masjid Seksyen 5, Kota Damansara yang baru siap dan digunakan menjelang Ramadan lalu, tidak menggunakan pembesar suara dipercayai mempunyai kaitan dengan bantahan penduduk kawasan berkenaan.

Selain itu, katanya, usaha menyediakan petisyen membantah azan seperti itu juga pernah dilakukan sekumpulan penduduk di Puchong sejak Mei lalu.

''Di Puchong dan Kota Damansara, ada pihak mahu azan di kawasan itu dihentikan atas alasan menganggu penduduk.

dipetik dari ( sini ).

oh, azan menganggu penduduk ye?

oh, kalau ade ahli keluarga mereka yang mati, ketang-ketung bunyi satu Kota Damansara seminggu boleh pulak?

sampaikan polis bermotosikal kuasa tinggi kawal lalu lintas kat situ.

apekah???

nasib 'Masjid Kuning'.

( sangkut-paut ).

p.s: tak payah nak tanam bunga banyak-banyak. ratakan buat tempat parking sudah. kecoh.

Dear diary,
can msia & russia be side by side?
can the heart of the 2 love birds be one asap?
can he not be extrmly far away 4m me?
i am soo missing him.

-xoxo-

.his gurlfie.

Evnthgh if side by side, it is still far
de distance of places is always far.
as long as our hearts is side by side
we won't be apart..

.her boyfie.

that's why you let out a sigh?

glad that i reached hostel safely.
will unpack later.
and that means tomorrow.
wardrobes need to rearrange back.
filling in the cold storage.

***

i wish to add the least.
to lessen the overflow.
to loosen up the tie.
and to bridge the gap.

i hope so.


p.s: extreme tiredness.

oh, how i hate plane seats.
really.
be it Qatar or Emirates, i still think Air Asia has the best leather plane seats so far.
haha..

experiencing a day of fasting in Malaysia after 5 dreadful years in Russia was definitely something, having parents and siblings around.
into the library, bentang sejadah, a.dinie that never fails to be the tukang azan, solat jemaah, and the buka puasa.
with the family.
isn't that just wonderful? they're just more than you and i actually need.

bazar ramadhan was what i had waited for.
why? because of all the foods, of course!!
those traditional kuih-muih and the favourite; kuih pelita!
how do i do that i Russia? *erk*
tunggu balik Malaysia je la..

thanks to Uncle Din and family and also Uncle Ali's family.
sangat comel la semua! sanggup datang sebab mase cuti tak jumpe u all.
heh.

i guess there's about less than an hour left befre our (bro, azam, amir and i) flight back to Moscow.
yeah, cursing the pain. again.
as long as i'm seating beside the window-pane, it will cure a little at least.
huhu..

to those who i did not have time to meet you up during my summer holidays, i'm teribbly sorry.
i know, i know. the soul-mate was given the priority.
*wink wink*

tunggu kamu!


p.s: keenomos. :D

• Rasulullah SAW strictly forbid people who are laying to eat any kind of foods to avoid keras hati. this gives the meaning of these people are prone to get diseases. scientifically, i have not done research on this, so i could not comment much yet.
• Anas bin Malik r.a said that Rasulullah SAW drinks and breath one at a time. given the meaning of one breath for a gulp of drink. by this way, it can easily quench our thirst and any pathological condition are possible to be cured.
• have you heard of sleeping facing to your right side? it's one of the sunnah and one reason stated is because when u lean on your right side, the foods will be in a good position with a bigger stomach and not compressed to the liver. this way it can avoid damage of the liver.