Liesel Meminger was in love with Rudy Steiner ever since.

( June 30th, 2008 )

yesterday officially marked the end of my third year here at RSMU.
done with the theories and what's left is the three more years of clinical part that brings me inquiry grows more than i thought i could cope.
Alhamdulillah, although the result isn't as excellent as Nabil Azmi's where not only he was listed in the Dean's List for three years straight,
he even scored the best result for the Professional Exam!
whoaaa dude! you're just the best!
you deserve a goooood holiday
and dear please, we're waiting for your house-warming.


minutes before the actual time, i was lamenting.
yeah, i did.
but things went finely well and i was laughing my head off at all the crancky jokes you bunch made,
chills and laughter we all had this afternoon.
worth the time, worth the dime.
it's never enough of what you have taught
it's always more than care of what you have done
it's the cry and laughter of mine that you are dearly going to miss!

the tender feeling and gesture of yours i could remember in every steps we walked
the shutter button that function almost too perfect at any time we wanted it to
the elephant and whale fight that made me cry the whole night
the meals and cakes we break-bread at all time
the fancy restaurants that we gormandized but definitely cost-effective of what we had paid for
the hypothesis and theories of mine that had always been antipodal with yours
and even the multivitamins we made it an issue
how could i not see that infatuation coming?

it's just too much of a question to be asked and to be answered.

***

enough of the past four years.
this is the last.


half and hour shopping for chocolates
and it's already half the trolley.
*sheesshh*
don't worry, there are always special chocolates for the love ones.

can't form a right sentence right now
as surgery basic theory fills the capacity in my brain.
will of course update as often as i like after tomorrow's last paper!
thank you for being my guardian angel.


p.s: cik adek, kiter ronggeng ye nanti.

currently listening to ( Take A Bow, Rihanna ).

reflection that reflects me


expression that spells i-wanna-go-back-home-asap!

to Arbatskaya we went
to find Leica M3
too bad the tourist spot is renovated at the moment.

mereka hebat, bukan?





got my own ( mini-plushies ) now!
yeay!

and i'll be the reason for your happiness.

definitely counting down right now
although there's a paper left this saturday
the heart had been jumping up and down the ceiling
trying to recall back the fragrance and ambiance of the room
the smell of the kitchen that used to be our hot-spot
the pond where we swam ignoring the japanese koi fishes swimming around our fleshes
the porch where we washed the cars and all those splashes.
do you think i don't remember?

the 'Wong's' dog that never stops barking
the loitering cats that loves to poo in mama's garden
the dragonfly that makes dad's flower as a pit-stop
and those red-admiral butterflies that thinks they're the best insects around
the neighbour's chauffeur that greets us every morning with his pleasant smile
whenever i took the newspaper that slipped between the irons of the gate.
do you think i don't remember?

the morning when he was in a state of pizza-ness
and i could agree much that i was craving for it too
the day of 'Meet the Parents'
the solo-journey to his place that scares me much
but had been the best day from morning to night
in the wee hours, we knew we understood more than how we reacted
and with that, i got you addicted!
do you think i don't remember?

yes, i do.

abah left me with a condition
which puts me into thinking
if i were not to be in the goats-cum-corns space
then i should be off doing something related to medical
which i have already decided to expand my knowledge by doing this and that
figuring out the right time and the right place
finding the right person to explore with
getting the commitment and helps i need for my future reference
and guess what, my holidays are already packed!
no, it's not even started yet, then i should not assume that i do not have time.
i said i'll TRY buy time, but you're right sarah,
there's no point of trying if i don't make it.
true.

(23rd June 2008)

Alhamdulillah, one more to go.

can you imagine how the locals celebrated Russian's winning against Holland (3-1)?
here, have a look at this edited print-screen i did. :D


click the picture for larger view.

And Aliff, i liked your status.
it goes like this,

'What a celebration down here, I wonder if we might able to experience this kind of patriotism in Malaysia at least once *sigh*'

now that you've read my blog
i can kutuk you more kan?
you can go *grrrr...* at all time
and a smile on my face does rhyme.

you know what i need.

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Secondhand Serenade, Your Call

I Remember, Mocca

I remember
The way you read your books,
yes I remember
The way you tied your shoes,
yes I remember
The cake you loved the most,
yes I remember
The way you drank you coffee,
I remember
The way you glanced at me, yes I remember



***

reality check: sit and listen to my heart beat. what does it says?

i really should finish my pathan studies right now.
saturday with consultation, so i'd better ignore distractions i got from regular people.
yeah, you. (if u feel so)

sometimes i'm losing train of thoughts
trying to keep it on track and not slipping off the rail.

sometimes i'm hitting myself to the wall
trying to be realistic to myself and even to them all.

sometimes i'm lost for words even when i don't see you
trying to hide my dramatic confusion, the weeping me.

but there is never times that i thought i'd lost you
when i had been wishing and hoping
that my dreams could ever come true.

(what's wrong with you people? it's not The Boyfie i had been writing about.)


p.s: checked.

edited:

kay, you were right;

impak maksima = impak hospital
semua pelakon masuk hospital. at least sekali.
berkali-kali pun ada.
lokasi penggambaran: taman tun dr ismail
kedai-kedai dekat jasema enterprise tuh dah familiar sgt.
setakat pusing2 kat situ.
bukannya pegi mane-mane pun.
naik bukit kat depan sekolah rendah agama tuh,
pusing buat u-turn kat traffic light, then turun balik masuk padang sebelah sekolah agama.
buhsan~
gado-gado takyah criter ar.
takde kualiti langsung.
gado sebab perempuan, gado sebab dendam.
konon impak maksima nak criter pasal racing,
pap-pap cinta segi tiga, segi empat sama, semua segi la ade.

ezora
ok la..
lokasi: taman tun dr ismail (lagi!)
hospital: sama cam impak 'hospital'
aishh...takde tempat lain ke?
tempat pak zaki & tiara jalan2 pun same tempat dgn ikin bukak gerai (impak 'hospital').

production house same kot.
tapi apsal kene tiru criter mexico?
dah takde idea sgt ke producer drama malaysia nih?

tgk criter nih pun sbb igt nak sokong drama melayu la kan.
tapi kalo camni jadik, ape kes?
karang kalo tak layan, kene kutuk plak
'mentang-mentang dok luar negara, takmo tgk criter melayu'
hah..tak ke dah kene kat situ?

tgk criter nih kire 'last resort' ar.

***

you're never moving on with life.
you're stuck in your past and blame others for what had happened recently.
is that what you call yourself 'a great manipulator'?
think back what you have said and done to me.
past is for your reference.
not for you to take them into account and live with it.
you are stepping into reality, then face it.
will it take you another fifteen years to realize where you are standing right now?
please, you're just fooling yourself.
i can't take it anymore.

drama-melayu typo.


p.s: had been an emotional week.

do you know how it feels when you're feeling extremely attachable?
yeah, that's the feeling, if you could feel.
i just couldn't help it but to follow my heart.

Oh God, do not let this happen once again.
i'm tired to deal with this things.
i'm sick of the situation that never ends and without any deals.

Aunty Jun, very much thank you for your concern.
a virtual mom had always been more than awesome.
emotion wise, they are dominating me.
practically, i think i'm handling it good.
mending the shattered dreams and hopes
adjusting the situation and mellow dramatic session
driving through without any assurance
risking to whoever and whatever making a conclusion
i have to go on
and so do you.

do i still have the chance to hear you singing?
do i still have the privilege by putting aside your friends?
do i still hear your voices at the end?

again and again
there's just something i know i could gain
but having you losing at the other side
all you get was pain and more pain
so far yet so near
so true yet faking it and let them disappear.

it took you too much to come back
and me chasing you off.
no, this was not the intention.
i still want to mend and clear things out.

do i still have the time?



p.s: it is never enough.

woke up from a four hour sleep
straight away to the table
and check out my screen.
wallah!
mama IM-ed using GTalk.
reminding me that today is abah's special day
here goes;

*ketembamam diwarisi*

'85, tanned brown, young and healthy, good breed, joyful pet, original specs with cool sporty-like facelift, value worth, playful and joy pet, view to appreciate, negotiable price, comes with self-upgrading package, tip top condition, well maintained.

Very loyal to recent owner. Helpful when it comes to food, heavy lifttings and emergency care. Fond of owner very much. Looking forward to improvements. Very honest & always get cheated and used over and over. Ditched by recent owner over one cute pet, needs a new replacement immediately. LADY OWNER ONLY.

This community message is brought to you by Save Adam Project. Save men, don't let them extinct.

*melayan status ym*

should have put it this way;
' and the reason is john.'
*wink wink*

tra-la-la-la-la
tra-la-la in the morning..
sha-la-la-la-la
sha-la-la in the morning..

haish..~


p.s: it was worth it.

the movie trailer;

si kaki yang semakin membesar
bersesak nafas di dalam kasut
yang sudah mencapai tahap maksima
untuk mebuka ruang lagi antara molekul-molekul pepejal.
dengan kemelecetan yang menjadi-jadi
serta urat-urat kelihatan timbul seperti terkena ( varicose vein )
kedai kasut sudah kedengaran memanggil-manggil
sejak menapakkan si kaki ke dalam pusat membeli-belah Mega.
atas sebab-sebab tertentu, keinginan ditangguhkan.
si kaki tetap bersabar walaupun keperitan menahan kesakitan hanya Dia yang tahu.
setelah acap kali didesak
akhirnya mimpi si kaki menjadi kenyataan.
cukuplah merasai rumah pelbagai warna, struktur dan harga
yang berbelang-belang ini menjadi idaman si kaki.
walaupun terasa agak kekok pada permulaan
keselesaan menjadi keutamaan.
perjalanan ke rumah semakin dekat dirasai
berbanding sebelumnya.

heh.



kalau la Pn. Jamisom Suboh (cikgu BM darjah 6) ada, mesti dia betulkan 'karangan' cam hampeh nih.
ada kesinambungan, cikgu?
*erk*


p.s: penat. nak tido. nites.

three layers of the stumbling block and i'm done.
yup, luck was on my side and my hard work has paid-off.
Alhamdulillah. *pheww*
two more to go and five days after that.

sisters-to-sisters holiday trip was planned last night.
still, i haven't found the stretch of time to fit in my schedule.
man..pity u.
i'll buy time for this trip ok?
just let me confirm on my practical date, aytes?
two options, no wait, there are 3 options and i want them all!
selfish me.
but if you're in my shoe, you must have want them
even if it were to be one after another.

so many humans.
so many colours.
they keep triggering and harassing my memory.
skies manufactured by people, leaking and puncturing it.
when all they think is in the term of boundaries,
that is all they see.
open wide and expand.
lordliness in oneself is to be praised
but do not exaggerate as it can't be undo.
you have got to see what you have got to see.
and being self-critical is allowed
as long as it is constructively used.

psst... anyone knows the cheapest and safest hostels in Singapore?
yes, it's hostels, not hotels.
i've looked through the net
but i need opinions from you guys out there.
readers from singapore, if you know the best place to stay
as i mentioned, safe & cheap,
email me at rixaelz@yahoo.com.
proposal and also counterproposal need to be done asap!
heh..

oh oh, anyone (rsmu peeps) having any of the library books number 10384?

terang-terang tulis produk Israel.
nak guna untuk masak ke tak?

godek-godek internet
and found this in imeem.

ingat lagi ayat hafazan mase form 4 & form 5?

the work place that never 'bores' me.

*click IF u want a better view of it*

just need a lot like this right now!

( supernab's )

( and her artwerk! )

The Boyfriend finishes his final exam this monday.
and he'll be done!
i'm currently sitting for 3 final subjects.

bronzeyes2508: lela..
bronzeyes2508: ade dak meninggal kat sinih..

and i asked who.
it was the ( indian girl that was missing ) few days back.
she was found drown at Evpatoria River which is about two hours driving from Simferopol.

people,
especially girls, be extra careful.
even though you're sulking, specifically at your boyfriend
and wanted to find some peace somewhere else,
do not go out ALONE.
yes, with capitals of A-L-O-N-E!
you're big enough to know the danger out there.
be it in Malaysia and even anywhere else.

***

i bought Mr Bart home!


minutes are cruel.
hours are punishing!


p.s: work stress.

dear Katiq Sigaraga,

abg dinie and i are most delightful to hear that you can't wait for us to come back home.
we would accept your invitation on kicking our ass in a futsal match.

the thing is, by the time we'll be back,
you're off somewhere else that bores you so much.
please, do come back with more souvenirs although that used to be my place!

in this case, we'll just have to wait and see.
and reschedule your time for us.

ah, i just can't wait to broken another ankle of yours!


let's tag fatin & noren along!



your wife?
i'm afraid not cause she's extremely fragile for the match!!



hope we could meet you soon.

lots of love,
The Laughing Machine.



p.s: konon idle! haha..

the hair on my head looks like a jungle.
and yes, i did a haircut with the help of my roomie.
who cares what it looks like at the end.
the more rambut there are, the more serabut i'll be.
*eekkkk*

as what i have i twitted, my remedy has always been mama.
calling mama without plugging the mic to the laptop was the stupidest thing i've done so far!
*blergh*
never felt that dumb before!
only to discover it at least two minutes after mama picking up the phone.
yikes!

after reading four russian texts, i started to lose focus.
three more to go.
i know i could accomplish all seven medical texts before performing Maghrib prayer
but things around has distracted me a lot.
hah.. me blaming the situation that never exist.

on a lighter note, a heater was bought due to the incident happened in my room during last winter.
got it cheap and still works well.
geez, the room just got warmer day by day
even when the sky isn't showing any blue-r sign lately.

it's just a habit when i got easily bored doing the same thing after at least two hours.
hence, the thoughts fly somewhere.
somewhere that i thought i could pick up a camera that suits me well
and just keep on snapping the street lifestyle that never bores me.

for something more logically, i don't do exercise anymore.
be it swimming at the club near the uni, futsal with them and even running around the house and pick some house chores to do.
which puts me in a restness state but without any doubt, uglier.
*urghh*
got me?

the mind has stop talking.
conversation to be continued soon enough
when i'm ready to spill it out again.
see you later!

ex oh ex oh.



p.s: a letter for you.